So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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