so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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