turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize