My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
