OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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