she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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