Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
you never un-have a 4some
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
