Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
