I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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