Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
