And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
