we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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