I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
