I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
