she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
