New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize