Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
