Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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