ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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