I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
