she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
