I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
