Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
