That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
