She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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