okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
