I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
