Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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