I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My cat gives me a boner
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
