problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
