I'm jealous of your bromance
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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