dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
