Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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