About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
