Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
