I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
