It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
