He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't think brook has ever known best
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
