She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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