its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
