i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize