NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
