he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
