you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
