we're chasing vodka with high fives
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
