im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
