Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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