i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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