also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
