Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
