god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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