Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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