i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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