i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
what day is it and did you see me today?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
