the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
