people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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