If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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