I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
