Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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