Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
