Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
