you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
