we're blogging at a bar
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
