he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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